The boys proceed to bully one boy whom they've deemed "Skids," presumably because he leaves sh*t stains everywhere he goes. They're also shockingly common. In the Charmin Bears universe, asshole inspection is a practice whereby bears inspect other bears' assh*les for little chunks of stray toilet paper. ", This has been weird the entire time. 5 Reasons You Should Upgrade To An Ekster Wallet, How The Bed, By Thuma Transformed My Work From Home Space, 15 Classic Commercials to Trigger Your '90s-Kid Nostalgia - Popdust ›, Scraping Bear Bottom: P&G's Toilet Paper Ads Declared Misleading ... ›, History of Charmin Toilet Paper | Charmin ›, Watch: A (fake) Charmin Super Bowl commercial gets torturously ... ›, A short history of toilet-paper marketing. Literally anything Junior does seems to be a perfect excuse for the parents to look at his assh*le. Yes, this a real, established, concept in the Charmin Bears canon. Their bear cub has no problem running in and grabbing them because he knows they're clean. The bear later became part of the packaging, replacing the baby in 2004. In the Charmin world, society revolves around bears constantly inspecting each others' assh*les for tiny bits of Charmin toilet paper. Somewhere from 10 to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages, according to the Mayo Clinic, though the number may be much higher because many women don't realize they're pregnant. Junior and his friends point and laugh at Skids, clearly the lowest on their totem pole because he has the dirtiest assh*le. While the red and blue Charmin bears always use the "softest" or "strongest" top-shelf TP, there's also a family of orange bears who only buy the cheaper "Charmin Basic" line. Procter & Gamble (PG)'s Charmin toilet paper ads have been found misleading by an ad watchdog, and P&G has agreed to stop exaggerating how little TP is "left behind" when an animated bear … Yes, she's so happy that her assh*le is smiling. They inspect each others' assh*les constantly. Stanger, though, is the commercial officially titled "Charmin Bears Can't Keep Their Paws Off Toilet Paper." In 2010, the company changed the logo to add flecks of toilet paper to the bears in the logo. Seriously. Physicists have a massive problem as Higgs boson refuses to ... ›, What Is the Large Hadron Collider? Disturbingly, the commercials seem to present this assh*le inspection practice as a universal standard, with the narrator making claims like, "You can't pass mom's inspection with lots of pieces left behind," and "You can always measure the growth of your children by the way they clean themselves in the bathroom," as if every mom is picking through their middle schooler's butthole for little bits of TP. eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'popdust_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_0',630,'0','0'])); Even Charmin Bear Cubs Know Charmin Ultra Strong Just Cleans Better | Charmin® Ultra Strong™ The bespectacled cub slides into the bathroom, picks up his used underwear, and proceeds to brag about the underwear still being clean, singing, "'Cause my heinie's clean / Oh yeah, I'm Charmin clean," while exposing his assh*le to his smiling parents. eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'popdust_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_5',632,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'popdust_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_6',632,'0','1']));eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'popdust_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_7',632,'0','2']));eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'popdust_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_8',632,'0','3'])); Junior tries on a silly robot costume? The cub dances with the underwear and sings about his clean heinie thanks to Charmin Ultra Strong, which is woven like a wash cloth. Lest they forget one last core element of the human experience often explored in dystopian literature, Charmin Bears aren't afraid to tackle sexuality. This Haunts Me: Did Scientists at CERN End the World in 2012? Did a bear board a plane with an overly sh*tty assh*le and accidentally create a medical emergency mid-flight due to the poo poo stench? Could the "Hillbilly Elegy" Movie Have Been Saved? Assh*le inspection is not an established thing. So far, Cottonelle’s archrivals, the Charmin bears, haven’t gotten into the act, though it’s a matter of time until Mama Charmin Bear chastises her peculiarly obsessive brood to stop caressing and dancing with the TP because other cartoon bear families haven’t a square to share. Even with recent vaccine updates providing a little light at the end of the tunnel, we still have a long way to go before large group gatherings can resume as normal.

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